On Grief and Loss

inspiration

Occasionally, life throws us a curve ball. You’re going along just fine, making it through each day, feeling as though things are coming together, then BAM! Flat-lined. Whether it be the loss of a loved one, the end of a relationship, loss of a job… live long enough and you’ll eventually find yourself in this position.

Bummer.

I’m certainly not the model of proper coping mechanisms. In fact, I’ve often felt I’m a better example of what not to do. But over my 30-odd years, I’ve learned a few things. And wouldn’t you know, life has given me the perfect opportunity to put those lessons into action in my own life.

First of all, don’t run from grief. Like it or not, no matter how long and how hard you try to push it down, grief will eventually catch up. (Think Michael Myers.)

Second, allow yourself to feel. Cry, scream, punch a pillow. Let your emotions wash over you like a wave. Experience them in their entirety for a moment.

But, just as that wave washes over you with such striking force, allow it to ebb. Feel the pain, the rejection, the loss and then let it go. And each time those waves return, stand your ground, FEEL…but remember the tide will eventually fall. It won’t always hurt this much.

I have faith in you. You are stronger than you know.

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3 Comments

  1. I was browsing through your blog (you know me from instagram) and first of all you are writing very well. This post hit a sore point though because at the moment I am in a point in my life where I just well lets say depressed – anyway, thanks for writing this post, I realize that I am running away from my feelings, in the beginning it was distration, however distration has turned into run away from my feelings because I want to forget – my friend said something similar that I should allow myself to FEEL…
    I know that but it feels so overwhelming and then I start my run away from the feeling thing – but I don’t know, oh well thanks for writing this post.

    • I’m not an expert, so what I write is my opinion and not necessarily something that will work for everyone. If you are experiencing clinical depression, simply FEELING the emotion probably isn’t going to be a resolution for you. You may need to seek some extra help (from a doctor or psychiatrist), if you aren’t already. Regardless, it’s okay to seek out healthy distraction techniques. A person cannot bear to be consumed by pain and grief 24 hours a day. I truly hope you can find some relief from what you are experiencing. My heart goes out to you.

  2. I did ask my doctor for a reference to a psychologist and she gave me one but it is not so esay to find a good psychologist and waiting time … and yes according I am expiring clinical depression according to my doctor along with stymtopms of PSTD. Thank you sweetie ❤ at least I had a nice Easter break where I felt some relief (watching series for five hours ) however I do also hope that I am over the worst of my depression since I have been able to read and even felt interested in it comparing to the lack of interest in everything – we can hope right?
    Hug 🙂

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